I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ketchup is God's man juice
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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