Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
