3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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