she was so not down for the gang bang
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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