Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
