i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
