do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
