Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
