I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
