What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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