Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
