She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
