Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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