Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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