I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
