He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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