Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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