is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
