cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
