dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
me + whiskey = a bad person
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Everclear isn't food dammit
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
