jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
