Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
