So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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