You work out of a Hotel?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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