if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
