I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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