ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
