he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
