You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
