she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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