I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
