I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
