i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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