The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
