worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
