I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
