Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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