No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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