does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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