My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Randomize
