Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
