Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
