You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
