All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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