She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just tell him i said nine months
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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