did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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