shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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