Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
