Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
