Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
