It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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