it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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