is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
